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22 August 2009

I Will Be a Fat Bride

I recently found the blog Axis Of Fat via a link from I am in love. Seriously.
The initial post I read on the blog said what I've been thinking for a while now.

Here is an excerpt from her post, but you really gotta click over there to read it all and see her gorgeous pictures!
Fat Bride Survival Guide

When I got married I was a fat bride. In fact, I was fat when I got engaged - I was even *gasp* fat when Nick and I met! Despite having a well established, recognised and loved body shape before getting married I copped a huge amount of pressure to lose weight in the lead up to the wedding. For some reason, I had it in my head that my wedding day would be a celebration of love and happiness between Nick and I however it seemed that foolish me had little idea of the true wedding agenda - basically some kind of reality tv show where the ugly duckling turns gorgeous siren. the rest...

And here is the comment I just made:
I will be a fat bride - getting married 10-10-10. And like most of the other posters, I've been fat my whole life. I made the mistake of buying my [wedding] gown at the lowest weight I'd been in ages, and then proceeded to gain 50lbs [in about a year]. Yeah, rather than alter the dress, or myself, drastically, I'm going to buy a new one that fits me and makes me feel gorgeous the way I look. I am so sick of friends and family telling me I need to lose weight for my wedding. My fiance adores me exactly the way I am! While I do wish I were smaller, I'm not going to hide who I am or pretend I'm someone that I'm not. I come from a fat family and will have fat babies. And I am OK with that.

You look absolutely gorgeous in your dress and the pictures posted here show a wonderful wedding day. And too true, the day is about celebrating love, not the way you look in a dress.


I will be the first to admit that I am not crazy about the way I look naked. But that's what clothes are for; they disguise our flaws and make us feel better. If they didn't, couture sure wouldn't cost an arm and a leg! I hate looking at size tags and feel horrible knowing that I cannot shop in certain stores.

But what am I doing about it? I am lazy. There, I said it. I would rather knit or, *gasp*, study than work out. I would rather knit than go for a walk. But I will romp on the floor with Lola and run in circles with her. I am also taking belly dancing class. While it's not a strenuous workout, but more like slightly faster paced yoga, I'm doing something. I have exercise DVDs that sit unwatched. Again, I am lazy.

I guess this is me finally admitting it, right? I have a screwed up body image - always have - and need to own up to it. I am getting married in *checks Facebook* 415 days. While I am going to try to lose weight, for my health, I'm not going to freak out if I can't. No one should. Stupid fashion industry and their unrealistic model body shapes.

/end fat rant


eve-marie said...

Being OK with being a "fat bride" was the most liberating thing I ever did. Like everyone else, I had grand plans to lose the weight/get fit/save the world before the wedding. But, life intervened. In fact, it intervened in a big way -- hubby had a major medical emergency about 6 months before the wedding, was hospitalized, and spent months recovering. That was right around the time I was supposed to buy my dress. I remember everyone sort of tip-toeing around the dress size (which run waaaaaaay smaller than regular clothes anyway) and encouraging me to try to lose "a little" for the pictures. And it's like, no way, this is me, the next few months are going to be hard enough with real life issues rather than trying to diet so that I look thinner in photos. So I got the dress at the size that was comfortable and that was that. And it looked great! As for any worries about wedding photos -- that's why there is Photoshop! A little tweaks here and there really make a difference!

Good luck with your wedding planning!

Joelle said...

I hate how everyone uses the phrase "The Weight." You know, "when are you going to lose The Weight?" Or maybe "I'd be happy with how I look, if it weren't for The Weight."

It's like it's some sort of alien that is somehow Other than you (capital O on purpose). People have mass. I still cannot abide a culture that insists that a major character virtue is the ability to become smaller. Because, honestly, when people want you to exercise for your health, what they really mean is that they want you to exercise to lose The Weight.

Most people who exercise stay pretty much the same size they are. Or, they'll lose it and it'll come back sooner or later. I work out all the goddamn time (6 to 8 hours a week) and I'm still the same size. Granted, I'm much, much stronger and faster and more fit than I was, but on top of all my muscle is still a fat belly and a big ass.

And I've had to become ok with that. I'm healthy. I'm fit. And, to people exposed constantly to the size six or less beauty ideal, I am fat. (Though really, I can't abide a culture who thinks that 12 to 14 is huge, but that's a rant for another day.)

Getting back to the topic at hand, you will look gorgeous and awesome on your wedding day. You'll be beautiful and happy, and anyone who thinks you should have lost The Weight before being allowed to feel happy and beautiful on your wedding day can go fuck themselves.

Kimberly said...

I suppose, as long as you're happy, and feel healthy, the number on your dress should be the VERY last thing you're worried about. Who else is going to see it except you and the boutique? You will be a gorgeous bride, and have a fun and loving day of celebration! :D

This is me said...

WHO said you needed to lose weight? i know that I didn't.